Barack Obama in a startling development this afternoon has announced himself as his own running mate. The Illinois Democrat's campaign team has revealed at this hour that an elite team of Swiss scientists working around the clock since January has cloned Senator Obama and housed the clone in a maturation acceleration chamber, thus aging the clone to about the same age as the original. Senator Obama, in a surprise move, has announced that his own clone will be his running mate. Additionally at this hour we have learned that for purposes of regional balancing, the clone has recently married and settled down in Birmingham, Alabama. The clone, legally named Bartock Oblhein, is scheduled to speak in front of his home in Birmingham tomorrow at noon.